Breaking the Cycle: Skyeler Lucero's Journey from Childhood Trauma to Master Resiliency Trainer

How one combat cameraman turned his father's alcoholism, undiagnosed ADHD, and underground mining darkness into a mission to build resilient men

The Voice Behind Iron Hide Has a Story of His Own

If you've listened to the War for Men audiobook, you know Skyeler Lucero's voice. Deep, steady, authentic. It's the kind of voice that makes you believe every word. But what you might not know is why his narration carries such raw credibility.

Skyeler isn't just reading someone else's story about overcoming adversity. He's lived it.

In Episode 5 of War For Men Podcast, hosted by Jake Seawolf, Skyeler opens up about childhood trauma that would break most people, a marriage that nearly collapsed under the weight of undiagnosed ADHD, and his transformation into a Master Resiliency Trainer who's changing military culture one soldier at a time.

This isn't a redemption story wrapped in a neat bow. It's messy, honest, and exactly what men need to hear.

Three Moments That Define Childhood Trauma

The Fishing Trip

Wild Horse Reservoir, Nevada. Sixty-five miles from the nearest town. No cell phones. Just Skyeler, his 3-year-old brother, his older brother, and their father who'd brought a 30-pack of beer.

"I saw the beer and thought, 'Oh, this might not go well,'" Skyeler recalls.

What started as a fishing trip became a nightmare. His father and older brother, both drunk, began fighting about gang activity. Their bodies came crashing down onto the tent where Skyeler was sheltering his terrified little brother. When they finally broke free and ran to a nearby RV for help, they were met with a .357 Magnum revolver in their faces.

The strangest part? After the chaos, his father who'd never been religious suddenly suggested they kneel and pray. "It was like he snapped out of it somehow," Skyeler says. But it wasn't a turning point. The drinking continued.

The Hotel Threat

Years later, after another fight between his parents, Skyeler's father found him outside their home. Drunk and convinced his wife was cheating, he demanded Skyeler get in the car and help him find her at a motel.

Standing in that parking lot, his father delivered an ultimatum that no child should ever hear: "Tell me what room she's in or I'm going to kill myself."

"Do you really want to be responsible for your father's death?"

Skyeler was 15 years old. The police arrived just as things were escalating. To this day, he doesn't know if his father remembers that night.

The Blood

The most visceral memory came earlier. After another violent altercation with Skyeler's older brother, his father went on a rampage through their home, smashing his mother's china cabinet with his bare fists. His arms were cut to ribbons, bleeding everywhere.

When police arrived to restrain him, Skyeler watched his father try to squeeze more blood out of his wounds. Attempting to bleed himself out in front of his family.

"That was scary," Skyeler says with characteristic understatement. "Super scary."

The Question Everyone Asks: Why Don't You Hate Him?

Here's where Skyeler's story becomes instructive for anyone struggling with forgiveness after childhood abuse.

"I love my dad. I respect my dad," Skyeler says without hesitation. "He's a great man who has found a lot of change in his life. These things haven't happened since then."

His perspective on grudges is simple but profound: "Holding a grudge is like holding something heavy and uncomfortable. You have the power to put it down. Some people carry it their whole lives. When I started forgiving, it was like things were pulled off my shoulders."

This is critical to understand. Forgiveness doesn't excuse inexcusable behavior. Skyeler is clear about that. But it does free you from carrying someone else's demons for the rest of your life.

His father eventually divorced his mother and took responsibility for his failures. That self-awareness didn't erase the past, but it opened a path forward. Today, Skyeler's children will never see the version of their grandfather that he had to endure.

Breaking generational cycles isn't just a phrase. It's active warfare against patterns that destroy families.

Military Service: Finding Purpose Through Combat Camera

Skyeler and Jake Seawolf served together in the 19th Special Forces Group as combat cameramen. For Skyeler, joining the Army wasn't about infantry glory. It was about documenting the mission, telling soldiers' stories, and creating something meaningful.

But his military journey wasn't linear. After his first stint, he left during a dark period. Financial struggles, marriage strain, and new parenthood had taken their toll. He wasn't mentally, emotionally, or physically ready to be a soldier.

"I don't know that I was really soldier ready," he admits. "There were a lot of different things going on in my life."

Nearly two years later, he rejoined. Initially to help his wife Rachel go back to school using his military benefits. That plan fell through due to bureaucratic technicalities, but by then, he'd found a new mission.

Now an E-6 Staff Sergeant in Alpha Battery 2-222 Field Artillery, Skyeler serves in three critical roles. Ammo Chief, a position most soldiers view as punishment, but he's transforming that perception. Public Affairs Representative, bringing his combat camera skills to artillery. And Master Resiliency Trainer, teaching the 14 core skills of mental and emotional fitness.

That last role is where his childhood trauma, military experience, and passion for building resilient men converge.

Master Resiliency Training: The Missing Link in Military Culture

Most soldiers see mandatory resiliency training as "that crap we have to sit through." Skyeler is on a mission to change that mindset.

"Being a physically fit soldier who knows your job is not enough," he explains. "If we don't cultivate the mental and emotional side, people fall apart. They don't do their job well. They don't know how to interact with adversity."

He credits Sergeant Ben Miller from the 19th SF Group with showing him what excellent resiliency training looks like. Sessions soldiers actually looked forward to attending.

The program covers critical skills like real-time resilience, handling crises as they happen, not just processing them later. Hunt the good stuff, actively seeking positive moments even in difficult circumstances. Mental traps and icebergs, identifying deeply-held beliefs that may be holding you back. Thinking traps, recognizing catastrophic thinking patterns.

For Skyeler, this isn't just about making better soldiers. It's about making better humans who can handle whatever life throws at them.

"Every soldier should know they have worth," he says. "Even if they're underperforming, even if they've done something stupid, they have worth. Why not build them back up instead of throwing them out?"

The ADHD Awakening: When Your Wife Sees What You Can't

For over four years, Rachel had been gently suggesting Skyeler look into ADHD. He'd read the books she gave him, acknowledge some symptoms, but never took it seriously.

"I wasn't being overtly resistant, but I wasn't being very supportive of pursuing it either," he admits.

The cost was mounting. Career goals abandoned, financial instability, marriage strain, and a constant sense of starting 70 projects but finishing none.

Then, a few weeks ago, something clicked.

"I finally surrendered to this," Skyeler says. "I told my therapist I want to treat this like terminal cancer. I used to be resistant to meds and behavioral changes because, especially for an ADHD mind, all those little tedious things feel impossible. But if there's something I can do, if there's a wiring issue I can help, so that all my goals and dreams can find fruition instead of me sabotaging myself, I'm doing it."

His message to his wife was unambiguous: "I'm 100% getting a diagnosis. I will consider meds. I will consider whatever. Because if I can focus, if I can actually finish tasks instead of leaving them 25% done, that changes everything."

This moment of vulnerability, of admitting something is broken and needs fixing, represents true masculine strength. It's the opposite of the toxic masculinity Skyeler encountered in his civilian job.

Underground Darkness: Coal Mining's Toxic Culture

For five and a half years, Skyeler worked underground in Utah coal mines. If you think military culture can be rough, he describes the mine as that culture "dialed up by at least 10."

"At least in the Army, they try to instill honor, duty, respect," he explains. "The coal mine doesn't have coal mine values. It's almost like you took all the high school bullies, gathered them into one workplace, and just let them have at it."

The culture included rampant sexual harassment. Skyeler had to physically throw coworkers across the room after verbal warnings failed to stop inappropriate touching. Ego-driven machismo with constant one-upmanship and unhealthy competition. Social regression where being labeled weak for refusing to participate in harassment was normal. Mental health stigma where "we leave our feelings at the point" was the running joke.

But beyond the culture, the physical environment itself was crushing. Literally. Working 13-hour shifts in complete darkness, with millions of pounds of mountain above your head, breathing dusty air thick with CO and vehicle exhaust.

"There's a heaviness," Skyeler says. "You feel the darkness. Sometimes you go in when it's dark, work your shift in darkness, and leave when it's dark. For days at a time."

Studies have shown that just 24 hours in complete darkness can cause severe psychological distress. Some miners do this for 20 plus years.

Now working on the surface with a smaller crew, Skyeler has escaped the worst of it. But he wonders if resiliency training could help those still underground if they'd accept it instead of scoffing at "mental health stuff."

Marriage, Money, and Making It Work

Skyeler and Rachel met after his LDS mission, introduced by a mutual friend. They bonded over Beauty and the Beast and got married young, as is common in LDS culture.

"I wish I'd taken more time to get to know myself before getting married," he reflects. "But here we are."

Their journey has included living in his dad's basement twice, a miscarriage, severe financial struggles, fundamentally different views on life goals and direction, and the strain of undiagnosed ADHD affecting every decision.

Financial stress, Skyeler confirms, is one of the heaviest burdens men carry. "When you look back and wonder why you struggled when other people just get it, go to school, get the career, make money, it's crushing. But there's no one-size-fits-all."

Today, they're in weekly marriage therapy and individual therapy. It's not a magic fix, but it's creating space for breakthroughs like Skyeler's recent ADHD awakening.

"Sometimes just talking to a friend isn't enough," he says. "There are gems in therapy sessions that cause you to think, 'Okay, I might not have gotten this in a regular conversation.'"

Man Advice: See the Worth in Every Soul

When asked for his "man advice" to close the podcast, Skyeler's answer transcends typical masculinity talking points:

"If we see each other differently, different beliefs, backgrounds, experiences, that's great. We can be this big melting pot that contributes to something much better in society. If we can value human life and recognize the worth of every single soul, that takes courage. It takes shifting preconceived notions we all grow up with.

"Let us be united on the things we have in common. Let us not be divided by the ways we are different. We don't have to condone what others do or become like them. We can hold our ground and maintain who we are, but still see their worth and how their difference contributes to something good."

This philosophy, forged in childhood trauma, refined through military service, and tested in toxic workplaces, represents the heart of the Iron Hide mission at ironhideusa.com.

The Iron Hide Connection: Why This Story Matters

Skyeler didn't just narrate the War for Men audiobook. He embodies its core message. Resilient men are built through authentic conversation, shared struggle, and refusing to let the past define the future.

His story proves that childhood trauma doesn't have to replicate itself. Breaking cycles is possible. Forgiveness is strength, not weakness. Letting go frees you to move forward. Mental health treatment is masculine. Admitting you need help takes courage. Resiliency can be taught and learned. You're not stuck being who you've always been. Communication saves relationships. Silence kills marriages and friendships.

Every man carries something. The question is whether we'll use it to build others up or let it weigh us down.

Listen to Skyeler's Full Story

Watch or listen to War For Men Podcast Episode 5 with Skyeler Lucero.

Get the audiobook narrated by Skyeler at War for Men on Amazon/Audible

Learn more about building resilient men at ironhideusa.com

Share This Story

Know a man who's struggling with childhood trauma, ADHD, marriage issues, or toxic workplace culture? Share this article. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is show someone they're not alone.

The cycle breaks when we stop suffering in silence.

Special thanks to Silver Peak Plumbing for sponsoring War For Men Podcast and making these critical conversations possible.